Garling Gauge

Fox South Carolina Republican Debate Firsts

Personal jabs within long-winded answers keep the GOP debate interesting

I almost avoided this debate as soon as it started. Annoying America’s Got Talent type singers screeching the national anthem almost jinxed the whole damn thing.

But the campaign is growing in excitement as Ron Paul has returned to the GOP debate mix, McCain is playing the frontrunner, Romney is getting desperate, Giuliani is trying to gain momentum, more primaries are right around the corner, and Duncan Hunter is off somewhere crying.

It’s time for more debate firsts - Here we go!

Debate Firsts

• First to be introduced: former Sen. Fred Thompson
• First question: Do you believe South Carolina is heading for a recession?
• First to say he’s called “The Sheriff”: Sen. John McCain
• First to wear his watch on his right wrist: Moderator Brit Hume
• First candidate’s answer to bore me to tears: former mayor Rudy Giuliani on taxes
• First to say America is in a recession: Rep. Ron Paul
• First candidate to directly answer a question without trying to sell himself: Paul
• First candidate whose eyebrows respond to the ebb and flow of his voice: former Gov. Mike Huckabee
• First to say “climate change probably has to be addressed”: McCain
• First candidate to sway back and forth at his podium: former Sen. Fred Thompson
• First candidate to call another one a liberal: Thompson to Huckabee
• First candidate to get an applause from the audience: Thompson
• First to quote an Air Force saying: Huckabee (They say if you’re not taking flack you’re not over the target. I’m taking flack so I must be over the target - does anyone really say that?).
• First to wink at the moderators: Huckabee
• First to cough: Moderator Carl Cameron
• First to ask the moderator if he could “please” participate in the current debate, instead of answer a ridiculous question about 9/11 Truthers: Paul
• First candidate to run an ad during the Fox debate: Giuliani
• First to mention virgins: Thompson
• First to suggest that the small Iranian speedboat incident was designed to test the defenses of a United States Naval Destroyer: former Gov. Mitt Romney
• First to ask rhetorical questions to himself: McCain
• First to say that Time Magazine got their ‘Person of the Year’ wrong: McCain
• First to wear an extremely ugly tie: Moderator Wendel Goler (I think that’s his name)
• First to say all Al-Qaeda wants to trade is burqas: McCain
• First debate where Ron Paul really takes John McCain to task over Iraq: This one! (about time)
• First to say American foreign policy is no longer like checkers, instead it is like three-dimensional chess (like in Star Trek): Romney
• First to count on his fingers: Romney
• First to say Israel should be dealt with in an adult fashion: Paul
• First to say if America wants to help protect Israel we should stop supplying Arab nations with weapons: Paul
• NOTE: If you want to get an applause at a Republican debate, just raise your voice at the very end of your answer. Including the word “America” at the end of your sentence also doubles your chance.
• First to mention the Lizard’s Thicket restaurant: Romney
• First to mention Republican lobbyist Jack Abramoff: McCain
• First to say he made highways accessible to all the kids in Arkansas: Huckabee
• First to look like he fake-bakes: Thompson
• First to say the type of change the Democrats want to make is to take the change out of your pocket: Giuliani (lousy pre-written joke, received zero applause).
• First to tout “throwing out [Yasser]Arafat” from a United Nations celebration as foreign policy experience: Giuliani
• First to play the “judgement” card: McCain
• First to mention his wife: Huckabee
• First to get an applause for saying he will practice his religion if he is president or not: Huckabee
• And the winner? For the first time, Ron Paul

More Debate Firsts here.

Image: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/