Garling Gauge

Florida Republican Presidential Debate Firsts 1/24/08

McCain’s Brain: “What the hell is Giuliani doing?”

Republican Alamo

So what are those wacky Republicans going to say tonight? Though the field has narrowed with the loss of former senator Fred Thompson (not such a loss, really), the drama is still high in the Republican presidential field.

Sen. John McCain continues to assert he’s as spry as a puppy, former Gov. Mitt Romney continues to flow with the wind, coming full circle to emphasize his business acumen as the economy plays a larger role in campaign discourse, former Gov. Mike Huckabee wishes Chuck Norris could be on stage with him, and Rudolph Giuliani is hoping his wait-till-Florida gambit pays off.

McCain seems to have the advantage tonight with his recent win in South Carolina and today’s endorsement by Sylvester Stallone (take that Norris!), but Romney’s got the big bucks, Giuliani has his feet planted, and Rep. Ron Paul isn’t backing down.

Let’s find out what happens with more debate firsts!

Debate Firsts

First to step on stage: Former Gov. Mike Huckabee
First candidate to obviously need a haircut: Rep. Ron Paul
First candidate to receive a question: former Gov. Mitt Romney on the economy
First candidate to talk in slow motion: Sen. John McCain
First to wear a bright blue suit to a presidential debate: Romney
First to wear a shiny purple tie: Moderator Brian Williams
First to mention ‘tax cuts’ and ‘tax reductions’ over two thousand times in one answer: former mayor Rudolph Giuliani (okay, that’s a slight exaggeration)
First to wear an American flag lapel pin that looks like its drooping: Giuliani
First to stutter: former Gov. Mike Huckabee
First to mention dance recitals: Huckabee
First to wear a tie taken from Sen. John Kerry’s closet: Romney
First to say he has the economy in his DNA: Romney
First to mention the ‘bridge to nowhere’: McCain (How come Republicans never mention that it was a Republican that wanted that bridge?)
First to wear a tie with the strongest stripes: Paul
First to say he was given a $10,000,000 check: Giuliani
First to laugh: Giuliani
First to say Republicans have greater economic responsibility even after moderater Tim Russert destroyed the GOP with facts comparing the Clinton vs. the Bush years: McCain (anyone who wants to keep the Iraq war going has no business saying he’ll control spending)
First to mention trickle down economics and trickle up economics: Huckabee
First to say he understands the ‘totality of the American family’: Huckabee
First to say he won’t run on the Bush administration’s record on the economy: Romney
First to say the GOP is the party of change: Romney (gimmi a break)
First to say he’s the taxpayer’s best friend: Paul
First place medal for the darkest tan in the audience: Florida Governor Charlie Crist
First to close his left eye half closed every time he talks about Iraq: McCain
First to say America exiting Iraq is ‘unthinkable’: Romney
First candidate to get an applause from the Republican audience for saying ignorant things in a strong way: Romney (don’t worry, I’m sure he won’t be the last)
Second to get an applause from the audience: Paul for saying the Iraq war was a bad idea
First to call the Iraq war a ’sad story’: Paul
First to say we should thank President Bush for the Iraq war: Huckabee (this guy is insane)
First to mention Easter eggs: Huckabee
Break

First candidate to ask Giuliani about China: Romney
First to say America should push for the ability of Chinese to sue each other: Giuliani
First to say China is in more need of energy independence than America is: Giuliani
First to mention the Fair Tax: McCain
First to mention drug dealers: Huckabee
First to mention prostitutes: Huckabee
First to mention pimps: Huckabee
First to get a laugh from the audience by saying drug dealers, prostitutes and pimps aren’t Republicans: Guess who
First to mention sunlight: Paul
First to mention sunshine: McCain
First to avoid answering Paul’s economic question by saying he’ll rely on other people instead of giving an opinion himself: McCain (seems like he didn’t know the answer)
First to mention the Supreme Court: Romney
First candidate to have really strange eyebrows: Giuliani
First to say the Florida coastline is beautiful: moderator Tim Russert
First to say Sen. Joe Lieberman is one of his favorite Democrats: McCain (possible VP plug?)
Break

First to compare his candidacy is like the New York Giants: Giuliani
First to say Romney has been lulled into a false sense of security: Giuliani
First candidate to be asked about his mother: McCain
First person to wear glasses that look as if they were purchased in the ’80s: moderator Brian Williams
First candidate to say he knows how to keep Israel independent: McCain (what the hell does that mean?)
First candidate to refuse to answer a question: Romney refusing to say how much of his own money he’s spent in Florida
First to say he has the only program to help the elderly: Paul
First to say ‘double whammy’: Romney

First to mention Chuck Norris’ foot: Huckabee
First to say he didn’t disagree with with Chuck Norris because he was standing next to him: Huckabee
First accurate description of Giuliani: New York Times (as mentioned by Williams. Read the endorsements tomorrow)
End Debate
First candidate to get a kiss after the debate: Giuliani

And the winner? Giving it to Romney.. no McCain.. no Romney. Hrm.

When America gets over Romney’s religion, Democrats are going to realize he is a potential powerhouse. Oh he’s arrogant and wrong on everything, but he talks a good talk.