Garling Gauge

Des Moines Register Democratic ‘Debate Firsts’

Dems keep it entertaining

On the second day of the Des Moines Register presidential debates in the wake of the Republican snooze-fest, the Democrats took stage to see if they could keep the audience awake.

We’ve got the firsts:

Des Moines Register Debate Firsts

• First to be introduced: Sen. Barack Obama
• First to wear a poke-a-dot tie: Sen. Chris Dodd
• First to wear a necklace of Livesavers<tm> candy: Sen. Hillary Clinton
• First to mention President Bush: Obama
• First to count on his fingers: Obama
• First to call for an end of congressional earmarks: Gov. Bill Richardson
• First to apologize for having a cold: Sen. Joe Biden
• First to lay out specific budget plans to accomplish his goals: Biden
• First to say paradigm is a fancy word: Biden
• First to quote his dad: Biden
• First to mention veterans: Gov. Bill Richardson

• First Democratic to talk like a Republican on tax policy: Sen. Chris Dodd
• First candidate to karate chop the air: Richardson
• First to call for the end of tax breaks for companies who hire overseas: former Sen. John Edwards
• First to mention universal health care: Edwards
• First to compare economic insecurity to a trapdoor: Sen. Hillary Clinton
• First to talk specifically about Iowans: Clinton
• First to say China and the U.S. have an adversarial relationship: Dodd
• First to mention his campaign theme in an answer: Biden (Action!)
• First to mention Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.: Obama
• First to ask Iowans to caucus for him: Obama
• First serious competitor to Nancy Pelosi in a blink off: Edwards

State of the Union Pelosi/Cheney blink off

Edwards candidate statement

• First to say Human Rights should be a condition on every trade policy: Biden
• First to mention his dad: Edwards
• First to say “we don’t want to be the trade patsies of the world”: Clinton
• First to quote a religion hymn: Biden
• First to thank Iowans for “putting us through this very good processing in electing a president”: Richardson (with a hint of sarcasm)
• First to say the American people will need to sacrifice: Richardson
• First to say we need an energy revolution: Richardson
• First to mention Virginia Gov. Vilsack: Dodd (I wonder what the debates would have been like with him in them)
• First to mention former Vice President Al Gore: Dodd

• First to mention the Apollo space program: Clinton
• First to say reaching for the stars!: Clinton
• First candidate to suggest to the moderator that the Democrats could raise their hands to signal their concern over global warning because the Republicans refused to in the previous night’s debate: Clinton (Lame, lame lame: John McCain cannot raise his hands above his head due to war injuries, that’s why no hand raising was asked of the Republicans during the CNN/YouTube debates but was asked of the Democrats. Clinton should bite her tongue.)
• First to say we need more family farmers: Biden
• First to say Tom Harkin is working like a Trojan: Clinton
• First to hold up four fingers: Edwards
• First to say ‘No Child Left Behind’ should be scrapped: Richardson
• First to say we don’t respect our teachers: Richardson
• First candidate to get ‘extra time’ from the moderator by being called on by accident: Edwards
• First to suggest Gov. Richardson is colored blind: Biden (jokingly)
• First to describe internet information as sunlight: Clinton
• First to get a round of applause from the other candidates: Joe Biden speaking about race
• First to say “I will provide some testimony, as they say in church, that Joe is on the right side of the issues and is fighting everyday for a better America.”: Obama
• First to call himself a fighter: Edwards
• First to say ’smartypants’: Richardson
• First to get an applause from the audience: Dodd
• First to say “As a candidate I’ve made a lot of gaffs, and I’m glad you didn’t raise them”: Richarson (to polite laughter/applause)
• Best comeback line of the night: Obama to Clinton

Obama’s comeback

• First to say his New Year’s resolution is the same as it is every year: To lose weight: Richardson (to polite laughter)
• First candidate to say she had ‘eaten her way across the state [of Iowa]‘: Clinton
• First to say he “enjoyed everything on a stick at the Iowa fair”: Dodd
• First to say ’smartypants’: Richardson
• First to say Iowa deserves to be first: Biden
• First to make fun of how boring the Des Moines Republican debate was: Moderator Washburn (thank goodness).

End debate.

Watch the full debate here.

See their first year goals below:

First year goals

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