Garling Gauge

ALF Vs. Bill O’Reilly?

WTF?

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/alf.flv[/flv]
Is A.L.F. a secret Fox News commentator?

Is it real? Is it not? Who knows, but it’s funny as hell. I’ll let ya know so you don’t have to watch the show.

Till then let the tension mount. Here’s a vid to wet your whistle.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/alf3.flv[/flv]
ALF speed painting

Get more ALF here.

And here it is.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/alf8.flv[/flv]
ALF on O’Reilly

Who knows why the hell he did it, but of course O’Reilly asked the pertinent questions.

O’Reilly: “When we last left you in 1990 you were arrested by the U.S. military. Remember that ALF? Were you torturued? Were you tortured by the military?”

No one can take the fun out of fuzzy aliens like Bill O’Reilly.

“You know we may bring ALF back from time to time to comment on world events; He’s a lot smarter than many pundits.”

Ug.

Categories: Bill O’Reilly, Politics, Fox News, Humor

Written on November 29, 2007 | Posted in Fox News, Politics | Leave a comment

CNN/YouTube Republican Debate Firsts

An empty stage set for empty shirts.

“Enough of the singing, enough of snowmen, let’s begin the debate.”
-Anderson Cooper

Live blogging of these Republican debate firsts was as entertaining as a Republican debate drinking game. Two hours of wasted time yielded the following snippets of silliness.

Check out ‘firsts’ from previous debates here. CNN coverage of this debate here.

Whoa! It’s about to start… here we go!

CNN/YouTube GOP Debate Firsts

First to wear a shiny purple: Moderator Anderson Cooper
First to sound like he just sucked on a helium balloon: Head of the Florida GOP (didn’t get his name)
First candidate on the stage: Rep. Duncan Hunter
First to give Florida Gov. Charlie Crist a hug: Sen. John McCain
First to wear the same tie a funeral director would wear: Rep. Tom Tancredo (black with subtle white stripes)
First to receive a question: Former mayor Rudy Giuliani
First to say Romney had a ’sanctuary mansion’ (where he employed illegal immigrants): Giuliani
First to be booed: Giuliani

Romney & Giuliani quickly proceeded to display their ignorance.

First to call America “our home”: Former Sen. Fred Thompson
First to say he was sad: McCain
First to say the government handling of Katrina & Iraq were failures: McCain
First to say “God’s children”:McCain
First to wear a cowboy hat and an American flag tie: Michael Whites (audience member who also had YouTube question)
First to say ‘out Tancredo, Tancredo’ (on illegal immigration): Rep. Tom Tancredo
First topic to give the GOP candidates orgasms on stage: The southern border fence
First to call another candidate a liberal: Former Gov. Mitt Romney to former Gov. Mike Huckabee
First to say our national soverignty is under threat: Rep. Ron Paul
First to say “bogus”: McCain
First to bring up President Ronald Reagan: McCain (somebody had to do it)
First to bring up Reagan after McCain: Giuliani (not to be outdone!)
First government program Fred Thompson would cut money for: Medicare/Medicaid
First to say Washington didn’t change him: Paul
First to say the Department of Homeland security is the biggest bureaucracy the U.S. has ever had: Paul
First cartoon to ask a question: Uncle Sam
First to call Paul’s stance on Iraq “isolationism”: McCain
First to bring up Hitler in a rebuke of Paul: McCain

First to say McCain doesn’t understand the difference between non-intervention and isolation: Paul

8:44 EST

First campaign-style video shown: Tancredo
First to say “Buy American”: Hunter
First to use his campaign video specifically as an attack ad: Thompson
First campaign video to make moderator Anderson Cooper say, “What’s up with that?”: Thompson
First Democrat to be shown on video: Sen. Hillary Clinton

Presidential candidate Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton

First to say he got his hunting license at the age of ten: Hunter
First to dress down a video questioner for his mishandling of a firearm: Hunter
First to get booed for stating that there should be “reasonable regulations” for owning a firearm: Giuliani
First to say “I own a couple of guns but I’m not going to tell you what they are or where they are”: Thompson
First to mention his son: Romney
First to say the best thing you can do for a kid is to have a mom and a dad: Romney
First to say “family values”: Romney (somebody had to say it)
First to say the last thing we need is federal abortion police: Paul
First to say he would not sign a federal ban on abortion: Giuliani
First to say the toughest decision he ever had to make was to allow the death penalty in his state: Huckabee
First to say Jesus was too smart to ever run for public office: Huckabee
First to say he would pray to Jesus for answers: Tancredo
First to say the Bible is the greatest book ever written: Giuliani
First to say he doesn’t believe that Jonah was actually in the whale: Giuliani
First to say his theology degree isn’t enough to help him comprehend all of the Bible: Huckabee

9:21

First candidate’s video to include King Kong: Giuliani

First to say we purposefully want to offend Islamic terrorists: Giuliani
First to say we’re winning the war in Iraq: McCain (typical)
First to say a date to withdraw from Iraq is a date to surrender: McCain
First to stutter: Romney (on a question of waterboarding)
First to say that waterboarding is torture: McCain
First clothing company logo to be displayed in a YouTube video question: Old Navy
First to say “victory”: Thompson
First to say the best thing we can do for the Iraqi people is to give them their country back: Paul
First to mention the Sicilian mafia: Giuliani
First to get an audience chuckle for self-deprecation: Thompson

9:48

First to say he won’t accept gays in the military during war time: Romney (Open question: When isn’t it war time?)
First to say he’d accept the support of Log Cabin Republicans: Huckabee
First president to be shown on a YouTube video: President John F. Kennedy
First to say that the decision to go to Mars isn’t one he’d like to make: Huckabee
First to suggest Sen. Hillary Clinton should be on the first rocket to the planet Mars: Huckabee

Planet Mars

First to say revoking welfare will help African-Americans: Giuliani
First to say “Stars and Bars”: Moderator Anderson Cooper
First to say he wouldn’t display the Confederate flag: Romney
First to say a line item veto is unconstitutional: Giuliani
First to (indirectly) suggest the New York Yankees won because he was mayor: Giuliani
First to say the word “hate” in the last sentence of the debate: Romney

End debate.

Now, as Anderson Cooper put it, the “smoke has cleared” from the debate, the important question still lingers: How did the Republicans’ answers leave us feeling?

As barren as the Red Planet itself.

Surface of Mars

More Debate Firsts.

With presidential campaigning beginning sooner than ever before, ‘08 presidential candidates are displaying their sensitivity to voter fatigue. Humor can be an excellent device for this purpose as long as it is done well.

First out of the gate was Sen. Barack Obama, combining the seriousness of presidential politics with humor in a video released before he officially announced his candidacy

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/obamafootball.flv[/flv]
Obama’s teaser-announcement

Obama successfully used humor in this fake presidential campaign announcement to exacerbate speculation of his possible presidential run while simultaneously connecting with the sports-loving electorate.

As Walter Shapiro and Michael Scherer explained in Salon,

In the modern political debate, the humorist reigns supreme. Exhibit A, of course, is Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, who can deliver the hard facts of reality in a way that drops the pretension that politics is a serious matter that must be treated like a bris. They call out the BS when they see it, and instantly become more credible.

Taking your licks as a guest on the Daily Show (if you’re a front runner) or the Colbert Report (for the second tier) has now become a standard in presidential politics. Even independent voice Rep. Dennis Kucinich was not immune to Comedy Central’s siren call:

Rep. Dennis Kucinich on the Colbert Report.

Huckabee’s team usurped Daily Show and Colbert Report clips as the foundation of this campaign video.[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/huckabeehumor.flv[/flv]
Video ad for Bible-thumper Mike Huckabee

Huckabee also landed an endorsement by tough-guy Chuck Norris and milked it. This is a prime example of how YouTube has altered the shape of presidential campaigns. With more and more information on candidates and issues available to the electorate, candidates need to stand out amongst the crowd now more than ever.[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/huckabeehumor2.flv[/flv]
Huck Chuck Facts

Walter Shapiro and Michael Scherer:

Here is a serious candidate running for the most powerful post in the world — on the strength of Chuck Norris’ facial hair. “There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard — only another fist,” Huckabee quips. “When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.” And it’s damn funny. And it makes sound political sense. And here’s why: Most American voters care about politics, but they can’t stand the politicians or the politicking. They know how to spot a phony. At the same time, they are bored stiff…Humor cures both ills.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/macaca.flv[/flv]
Sen. George Allen’s derogatory “macaca” moment helped sink is reelection bid.

While scripted video can shape a candidate’s message, live video on the campaign trail has the demonstrated potential to harm a candidacy. George Allen learned this the hard way when his 2006 senatorial reelection bid sprung a leak through is own verbal slippage.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/bombiran.flv[/flv]
Sen. John McCain jokes about bombing people

Another Republican senator, John McCain (who can still stand up), also learned the effects of loose lips. McCain was lambasted by many for his flippant comments about mass death. His response? “Get a life”.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/bombiran2.flv[/flv]
MoveOn.org criticized McCain

While live video on the campaign trail has the potential to harm a candidacy [See: Macaca. (Ref. Allen, George)], scripted campaign videos enable campaigns to control the image of their candidates and take risks they don’t take on television.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/richardsonad2.flv[/flv]
Gov. Bill Richardson’s 2006 reelection campaign ad

Democratic Governor Bill Richardson is no stranger to using humor as a campaign device. In his 2006 New Mexico reelection advertisement he touted his accomplishments and state movie revenue by making a western of his own.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/richardsonad.flv[/flv]
Richardson ads: Job Interview & Tell Me

Richardson continued his humor+achievements theme into his 2008 presidential bid, this time by mocking his extensive government experience in a series of job interview ads.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/richardsonad3.flv[/flv]
Another Richardson interview ad.

Sen. Hillary Clinton also jumped on the bandwagon issuing forth a well-executed web 2.0 challenge to voters with humor as a central theme.
[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/hill3.flv[/flv]
Sen. Hillary Clinton’s campaign theme song request

Governor Mitt Romney, however, failed miserably in his similar challenge, left only to be mocked by the tools he provided.

‘Way’, a wonderfully snide campaign video made for the Romney campaign by a praiseworthy democrat.

For some candidates, however, the use of humor as a campaign tactic falls decidedly flat.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/doddwhitehair.flv[/flv]
Sen. Chris Dodd’s humorless concoction, “White Hair”.

Some forms of campaign humor are unintentional. The latest promo of Rep. Ron Paul leads by example.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/ronpaulworstvideo.flv[/flv]
Rep. Ron Paul’s newest ad has drawn some scrutiny from his own supporters

But the use of humor certainly doesn’t fade once a candidate wins the presidency. Thirteen U.S. presidents have attended the annual White House Correspondents’ Association dinner with the most recent grinning and groaning their way through the newly traditional roast.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/dinner.flv[/flv]
Presidents often take part in their own mockery.

With our current president the comedy connects with sadness, as the real humor of George W. Bush lies in his own, non-scripted behavior.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/childrens.flv[/flv]
“Childrens do learn.” The President never fails to disappoint.

With humor becoming an ever more powerful force in presidential politics, the boundaries have worn thin on what is acceptable. Here the Daily Show pushes the limits on campaign coverage.

“FLILF”

Comedy Central’s influence has grown so strong that the wingman of political satire even announced his own bid for the presidency (even if it was only in one state).
[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/colbertcampaign.flv[/flv]
Stephen Colbert on the stump in South Carolina
[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/colbertcampaign2.flv[/flv]
Stephen Colbert on the stump in South Carolina

Not wanting to jinx the ‘08 election the Democratic party quelled Colbert’s presidential aspiration before it could take hold.But presidential politics are not solely about humor. With a clever Chuck Norris ad in one hand, Huckabee also also knows how to play the other. In a recent debate Huckabee’s sweeping nationalistic pontification played to the hearts of many ignorant Republicans.[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/huckabeehumor4.flv[/flv]
Ron Paul authentically debates Mike Huckabee while Huckabee plays to the audience with his rebuke.

In a separate debate, Huckabee brings up the topic of humor specifically as a wedge tool to demonize the Democratic front runner.[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/huckabeehumor5.flv[/flv]
Huckabee admits he likes to be funny.

Turning humor on its head he declared: “There’s nothing funny about Hillary Clinton being president.”

Perhaps not, but a Huckabee presidency would be an absolute, humorless nightmare.

*Categories: 2008 election, Humor, Politics, Mike Huckabee

Written on November 28, 2007 | Posted in 2008 election, Politics, presidential candidates | Leave a comment

‘08 Campaign Posters Interpreted

“In the eyes of the beholders…”

The New York Times has a fun slide show interpreting presidential campaign posters, but the format is clunky. Below are the illustrations juxtaposed in order for comparison.

Illustrations by Ward Sutton, author of “Sutton Impact: The Political Cartoons of Ward Sutton.” Buy his book.

See also:

Written on November 25, 2007 | Posted in 2008 election, News, Politics | Leave a comment

Biden Bashes Bush On Musharraf

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. Joe Biden is quoted in a Wednedsday Washington Post article as chastising President Bush on extending American loyalty toward Pakistaki President Pervez Musharraf.

“What exactly would it take for the president to conclude Musharraf has crossed the line? Suspend the constitution? Impose emergency law? Beat and jail his political opponents and human rights activists?” asked Joseph R. Biden Jr. (D-Del.), chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee and a presidential candidate. “He’s already done all that. If the president sees Musharraf as a democrat, he must be wearing the same glasses he had on when he looked in Vladimir Putin’s soul.”

Bush was asked in the interview if there is any line Musharraf should not cross. “He hasn’t crossed the line. As a matter of fact, I don’t think that he will cross any lines,” Bush replied, according to an ABC transcript. “. . . We didn’t necessarily agree with his decision to impose emergency rule, and . . . hopefully he’ll get . . . rid of the rule. Today, I thought, was a pretty good signal, that he released thousands of people from jail.”

Tom Malinowski, Washington director of Human Rights Watch, said that “it’s hard to imagine how the administration will be able to achieve anything in Pakistan if the president is so disconnected from reality.”

“Almost everyone in Pakistan who believes in George Bush’s vision of democracy is in prison today,” Malinowski said. “Calling the man who put them in prison a great democrat will only discredit America among moderate Pakistanis and give Musharraf confidence that he can continue to defy the United States because Bush will forgive anything he does.”

President Bush: American values when they’re politically convenient.

More on Joe Biden, President Bush, Politics, 2008 Election

http://www.hoinews.com/uploadedImages/whoi/News/biden(1).jpg
http://photos.state.gov/libraries/475/09c06/092206-BushMusharraf-200.jpg

Written on November 24, 2007 | Posted in 2008 election, News, Politics, President Bush | 1 Comment

Elizabeth Kucinich on Ron Paul & Dennis Kucinich as Running Mates

Congressmen & presidential hopefuls Dennis Kucinich (D) & Ron Paul (R)

The Mavericks

In a recent interview Elizabeth Kucinich acknowledged her husband, liberal Democratic presidential hopeful Dennis Kucinich, would consider libertarian Republican presidential candidate Ron Paul as his running mate.

For many a Kucinich vs. Paul presidential race would be a dream come true.

Unfortunately, most voters do not delve deep enough into election politics and U.S. policy to give these maverick presidential campaigners a chance. However, with a whopping $5 million in donations freshly dumped into the Paul campaign coffers and an expected $12 million in the fourth quarter, it’s possible the two mavericks might team up as a third party ticket.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/paulkucinich.flv[/flv]
Elizabeth Kucinich at 2:36 in video. As a side note, the interviewer looks bored out of his mind with everyone except Mrs. Kucinich.

Rep. Dennis Kucinich & Elizabeth Kucinich

Elizabeth Kucinich on whether her husband, Rep. Dennis Kucinich, would consider Republican presidential hopeful Ron Paul as a running mate:

“It’s a consideration; absolutely. I mean, Ron Paul he’s a great truth teller as well. He’s voted 100% right on the war…So I think there could be some bipartisan movements going on there.”

Either way, as opponents or under the same ticket, Kucinich and Paul could be quite the match.

Categories: Ron Paul, Dennis Kucinich 2008 Election, Politics

Kucinich & Paul on the Issues.

Interview with Elizabeth Kucinich:

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/elizabethkucinich.flv[/flv]

http://a.abcnews.com/images/Politics/nm_Kucinich_070524_ms.jpg
http://www.indecision2008.com/images/shows/indecision2008/blog/paulkucinich_300.jpg

Written on November 24, 2007 | Posted in 2008 election, News, Politics, Ron Paul, presidential candidates | 4 Comments

America Kicks Ass: Duncan Hunter Translated

Denis Poroy/Associated Press

“The rest of the world is America’s bitch”

While perusing the campaign websites of lesser-known 2008 presidential hopefuls, I ran across a video of Duncan Hunter touting America’s greatness to its critics.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/hunter.flv[/flv]
To America’s Critics

Oddly enough I also found a little-known translation of Hunter’s remarks by John S. Hall at a Def Poetry jam.

WARNING - Strong Language & Lewdness
[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/americakicksass.flv[/flv]
Def Poetry - John S. Hall - America Kicks Ass

Vote Hunter in ‘08 cause America kicks ass!

Still unconvinced? Don’t worry, hate-monger Ann Coulter says he’s bonafide.

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/hunter2.flv[/flv]
Duncan Hunter on MSNBC’s Hardball

Hunter is also endorsed by sound-barrier breaking Chuck Yeager, which is suspicious since according to thefreedictionary.com, “The name “Yeager” is an Anglicized form of the German and Dutch name, Jäger (German: “Hunter”).”

[flv]http://garlinggauge.com/videos/hunter3.flv[/flv]
Zippy Yeager wants more money for the military

If those aren’t presidential-worthy endorsements, nothing is. :/

Categories: 2008 Election, Politics, Duncan Hunter, Ann Coulter

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/08/world/middleeast/08reconstruct.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

Written on November 23, 2007 | Posted in 2008 election, News, Politics | Leave a comment

Ben Franklin: Turkey Should Be America’s Symbol

A Bird of Courage

One wonders if the Thanksgiving feast would be the same if Ben Franklin had gotten his wish.

As described from this edited excerpt of greatseal.com:

The Eagle, Ben Franklin, and the Turkey

A year and a half after the Great Seal was adopted by Congress on June 20, 1782 – with the bald eagle as its centerpiece – Benjamin Franklin wrote a letter to his daughter and shared some thoughts about the eagle as a symbol for America. He did not express these personal musings elsewhere, but they have become legendary.

Writing from France on January 26, 1784 to his daughter Sally (Mrs. Sarah Bache) in Philadelphia, Franklin casts doubt on the propriety of using the Bald Eagle to symbolize the “brave and honest Cincinnati of America,” a newly formed society of revolutionary war officers.

The society’s insignia had a poorly drawn eagle that looked more like a turkey, which prompted Franklin’s naturally inquisitive mind to compare and contrast the two birds as a symbol for the United States.

Franklin’s Letter to His Daughter (excerpt)

“For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country. He is a Bird of bad moral Character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.

“With all this Injustice, he is never in good Case but like those among Men who live by Sharping & Robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank Coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the District. He is therefore by no means a proper Emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our Country . . .

“I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America . . . He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.”

Franklin previously suggested other symbols.

In his 1775 letter published in a magazine, he made a good case for the Rattlesnake as an appropriate symbol of “the temper and conduct of America.”

The rattlesnake from the 1778 Georgia issued $20 bill.
(Nemo me impune lacesset) “No one will provoke me with impunity.”

Benjamin Franklin’s penned his thoughts on the rattlesnake under the pseudonym “An American Guesser”, published in the Pennsylvania Journal on December 27, 1775. “Written after fighting had begun between the Colonists and the British, but before the Declaration of Independence, it gives us a glimpse into Franklin’s observant mind.”

I observed on one of the drums belonging to the marines now raising, there was painted a Rattle-Snake, with this modest motto under it, “Don’t tread on me.” As I know it is the custom to have some device on the arms of every country, I supposed this may have been intended for the arms of America; and as I have nothing to do with public affairs, and as my time is perfectly my own, in order to divert an idle hour, I sat down to guess what could have been intended by this uncommon device – I took care, however, to consult on this occasion a person who is acquainted with heraldry, from whom I learned, that it is a rule among the learned of that science “That the worthy properties of the animal, in the crest-born, shall be considered,” and, “That the base ones cannot have been intended;” he likewise informed me that the ancients considered the serpent as an emblem of wisdom, and in a certain attitude of endless duration – both which circumstances I suppose may have been had in view. Having gained this intelligence, and recollecting that countries are sometimes represented by animals peculiar to them, it occurred to me that the Rattle-Snake is found in no other quarter of the world besides America, and may therefore have been chosen, on that account, to represent her.

But then “the worldly properties” of a Snake I judged would be hard to point out. This rather raised than suppressed my curiosity, and having frequently seen the Rattle-Snake, I ran over in my mind every property by which she was distinguished, not only from other animals, but from those of the same genus or class of animals, endeavoring to fix some meaning to each, not wholly inconsistent with common sense.

I recollected that her eye excelled in brightness, that of any other animal, and that she has no eye-lids. She may therefore be esteemed an emblem of vigilance. She never begins an attack, nor, when once engaged, ever surrenders: She is therefore an emblem of magnanimity and true courage. As if anxious to prevent all pretensions of quarreling with her, the weapons with which nature has furnished her, she conceals in the roof of her mouth, so that, to those who are unacquainted with her, she appears to be a most defenseless animal; and even when those weapons are shown and extended for her defense, they appear weak and contemptible; but their wounds however small, are decisive and fatal. Conscious of this, she never wounds ’till she has generously given notice, even to her enemy, and cautioned him against the danger of treading on her.

Was I wrong, Sir, in thinking this a strong picture of the temper and conduct of America? The poison of her teeth is the necessary means of digesting her food, and at the same time is certain destruction to her enemies. This may be understood to intimate that those things which are destructive to our enemies, may be to us not only harmless, but absolutely necessary to our existence. I confess I was wholly at a loss what to make of the rattles, ’till I went back and counted them and found them just thirteen, exactly the number of the Colonies united in America; and I recollected too that this was the only part of the Snake which increased in numbers. Perhaps it might be only fancy, but, I conceited the painter had shown a half formed additional rattle, which, I suppose, may have been intended to represent the province of Canada.

‘Tis curious and amazing to observe how distinct and independent of each other the rattles of this animal are, and yet how firmly they are united together, so as never to be separated but by breaking them to pieces. One of those rattles singly, is incapable of producing sound, but the ringing of thirteen together, is sufficient to alarm the boldest man living.

The Rattle-Snake is solitary, and associates with her kind only when it is necessary for their preservation. In winter, the warmth of a number together will preserve their lives, while singly, they would probably perish. The power of fascination attributed to her, by a generous construction, may be understood to mean, that those who consider the liberty and blessings which America affords, and once come over to her, never afterwards leave her, but spend their lives with her. She strongly resembles America in this, that she is beautiful in youth and her beauty increaseth with her age, “her tongue also is blue and forked as the lightning, and her abode is among impenetrable rocks.”

In 1776, he made an official suggestion while on the committee Congress appointed on July 4th to design the Great Seal. His idea was an action scene with Moses and Pharaoh, which the committee recommended for the reverse side of the Great Seal.

In the story of America’s Great Seal, a particularly relevant chapter is the imagery suggested by Benjamin Franklin in August 1776. He chose the dramatic scene described in Exodus, where people confronted a tyrant in order to gain their freedom.

“Pharaoh sitting in an open Chariot, a Crown on his head and a Sword in his hand, passing through the divided Waters of the Red Sea in Pursuit of the Israelites: Rays from a Pillar of Fire in the Cloud, expressive of the divine Presence and Command, beaming on Moses who stands on the shore and extending his hand over the Sea causes it to overwhelm Pharaoh.”

“Motto: Rebellion to Tyrants is Obedience to God.”

Franklin’s design was recommended by the first committee for the reverse side of the Great Seal. The above realization was made by Benson J. Lossing for Harper’s New Monthly Magazine in July 1856. The first committee made no sketch (that survives) of their design – one that is more historical than religious

Thomas Jefferson liked the motto “Rebellion to Tyrants is Obedience to God” so much, he used it on his personal seal. Also, it seems to have inspired the upper motto on the final reverse side of the Great Seal: Annuit Coeptis (God has favored our undertakings).

‘In God We Trust’ is bad enough.

There was not a “great debate amongst the Founding Fathers” (as suggested by the History Channel’s “Secrets of the Dollar Bill”) as to which bird would be the national one. Congress approved Charles Thomson’s eagle design the same day he submitted it – June 20, 1782.

There was however a veritable menagerie of feathered symbols in the Great Seal designs suggested by the preliminary committees: a two-headed eagle, a rooster, a dove, and a “phoenix in flames.”

So would America have been better off with a rattlesnake, turkey, or eagle as our nation’s symbol?

In a 2001 article from the Weber State University paper The Signpost, a local farmer and student provided their snippets of wisdom:

Warren Bailey, a former turkey grower and feed superintendent at the Moroni Feed Co-op, said he could understand why Franklin thought the wild turkey would be an excellent national bird.

“Well, what they say is that the wild turkey is a very smart and cunning bird; domestic turkeys aren’t anything like that. There’s differences between domestic turkeys and wild turkeys. Domestic turkeys can’t even fly over the fence, ” Bailey said. “If they can find a way to voluntarily die, they’ll do it.”

Weber State University senior, Spencer Heath, said that the eagle is the right choice for the national bird.

“I think that if we had the wild turkey as our national bird, people would think less of the United States. They’d think of us being an overweight , awkward country,” Heath said. “I think the eagle much better represents the strength of the U.S.”

Good thing Franklin didn’t get his wish. We certainly wouldn’t want the rest of the world thinking America was overweight and awkward.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Category: Politics

http://www.synthstuff.com/mt/archives/ben_franklin.jpg, http://www.pilgrimhall.org/images/t-menuflag.JPG, http://www.nwf.org/endangered/images/eagleturkey.jpg, http://www.greatseal.com/committees/firstcomm/reverse.html, http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/43/Great_Seal_of_the_US.png, http://z.about.com/d/politicalhumor/1/0/S/H/bush_turkey.jpg,http://medicineworld.org/images/blogs/obese-man.jpg
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/ASH/1809~Wild-Turkey-Posters.jpg

Written on November 22, 2007 | Posted in Politics | 2 Comments

Lolcats To Lolpolitics

Dis iz Bananas?

Lolcats has stepped up its game from baby talk kitties to U.S. and international politics. As described in this excerpt from the collective wisdom of Wikipedia:

Lolcats are images combining photographs of a cat with a humorous and idiosyncratic caption, said to have its origins in the 4chan imageboards as the Caturday phenomenon. The name “lolcat” is a portmanteau of “lol” and “cat”.^[2]^[3] The phenomenon is also referred to as cat macros. Lolcats are created for photo sharing imageboards and other internet forums. Lolcats are similar to other anthropomorphic animal-based image macros such as the O RLY? owl.

The term lolcat gained national attention in the United States when it was covered by Time magazine,which wrote that non-commercialized phenomena of the sort are increasingly rare, stating that lolcats have “a distinctly old-school, early 1990s, Usenet feel to [them].” The superimposed text is assumed to be uttered by the cat in the photograph. There are parallels between the language used in lolcats and baby talk, which owners of cats often use when talking to them

Lolcat is now taking new forms, using different types of pictures in the same format. All things stay the same but the picture is not a cat but something else, for example a character for a tv show and the accompanying text is relevant to that. Forums and online communitys often create these often the adpting the name LOL(relevant subject).

Slate has a slide-show.

Now with a political twist, the lolmovement has political junkies rofling. Lolpresident has gained some steam but is almost too obvious, and the Australian Green Senators are even having a lolcompetition. With elections heating up, lolpolitics are crashing the political stage.

Here’s a political sampling from across the web:

As if the political process isn’t goofy enough.
Stay tuned for more of the best.

Gettysburg Address Anniversary

Seven score and four years ago…

Today marks 144 years since President Abraham Lincoln gave his most famous and quoted speech: The Gettysburg Address. Orated in 1863 during the American Civil War at a dedication for the Soldiers’ National Cemetary in Gettsburg, Pennsylvania, it is regarded as one of the great speeches in American history.

Abraham Lincoln, 1863

Now, during another time of war and death, and on the anniversary of his well-crafted address seven score and four years ago, the Garling Gauge pays tribute to his immortal words.

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

-Abraham Lincoln, 1863

Union dead at Gettysburg, photographed by Timothy O’Sullivan, July 5–July 6, 1863

The only known photograph of President Lincoln at the dedication of the Civil War cemetery at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, November 19, 1863. Detail below.

Detail: Lincoln in the center

TheFreeEncyclopedia notes the parallels between Lincoln’s address and other sources.

Civil War scholar James McPherson’s review of Wills’ book addresses the parallels to Pericles’ Funeral Oration during the Peloponnesian War as described by Thucydides, and enumerates several striking comparisons with Lincoln’s speech. Pericles’ speech, like Lincoln’s, begins with an acknowledgment of revered predecessors: “I shall begin with our ancestors: it is both just and proper that they should have the honour of the first mention on an occasion like the present”; then praises the uniqueness of the State’s commitment to democracy: “If we look to the laws, they afford equal justice to all in their private differences”; honors the sacrifice of the slain, “Thus choosing to die resisting, rather than to live submitting, they fled only from dishonour, but met danger face to face”; and exhorts the living to continue the struggle: “You, their survivors, must determine to have as unfaltering a resolution in the field, though you may pray that it may have a happier issue.”

Abraham Lincoln. Younger picture taken in 1846.

Craig R. Smith, in “Criticism of Political Rhetoric and Disciplinary Integrity”, also suggested the influence of Daniel Webster’s famous speeches on the view of government expressed by Lincoln in the Gettysburg Address, specifically, Webster’s “Second Reply to Hayne”, in which he states, “This government, Sir, is the independent offspring of the popular will. It is not the creature of State legislatures; nay, more, if the whole truth must be told, the people brought it into existence, established it, and have hitherto supported it, for the very purpose, amongst others, of imposing certain salutary restraints on State sovereignties.”

Elsewhere in his reply to Haynes, Webster described the federal government as: “made for the people, made by the people, and answerable to the people,” foreshadowing Lincoln’s “government of the people, by the people, for the people.”

Some have noted Lincoln’s usage of the imagery of birth, life, and death in reference to a nation “brought forth,” “conceived,” and that shall not “perish.” Others, including Allen C. Guelzo, the director of Civil War Era studies at Gettysburg College in Pennsylvania, suggested that Lincoln’s formulation “four score and seven” was an allusion to the King James Version of the Bible’s , in which man’s lifespan is given as “threescore years and ten”.

“Both parties deprecated war; but one of them would make war rather than let the nation survive; and the other would accept war rather than let it perish. And the war came …. Fondly do we hope — fervently do we pray — that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away.” –Abraham Lincoln, March 4, 1865 - Second Inaugural Address

History not your thing? Don’t worry, there’s always the PowerPoint.

Category: Politics

http://www.rokkorfiles.com/photos/EO-Lincoln-Statue.jpg, http://home.att.net/~howingtons/abe.html
http://cache.eb.com/eb/image?id=2140&rendTypeId=4, http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/gadd/gaphot.html
http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/122/019_1477~Abraham-Lincoln-Posters.jpg
http://cache.eb.com/eb/image?id=78200&rendTypeId=4, http://www.alcwrt.org/images/lincoln_abraham_photograph.jpg

Written on November 20, 2007 | Posted in News, Politics | Leave a comment

« Previous Entries