Garling Gauge

Hillary Clinton Claims She Can See Invisible

Clinton’s first TV spot in Iowa

Democratic presidential hopeful Sen. Hillary Clinton unleashes her first television add in Iowa tomorrow, emphasizing her super power to see ‘invisible’ people that President Bush cannot see.

Clinton’s first television spot in Iowa

With a close race in Iowa among the Democratic frontrunners this first ad could give her heroic campaign a needed boost. Surrounding herself with women in the ad, Sen. Clinton highlights a key voting block whose support she’ll need in the primary and general election.

In her ad, Clinton addresses a question many of us were faced with during childhood:

Would you rather have the super ability to fly or be invisible?
(1, 2, 3, 4)

Most of us limited ourselves to one answer or the other. But by choosing the power to ‘see those who are invisible‘, Sen. Clinton demonstrates she can certainly think outside the (toy) box.

Think about it: How many kids chose the power to be invisible? Hundreds? Thousands? Maybe millions? With all those invisible people sneaking around, having the sole super ability to see them gives the former first lady a distinct advantage.

But Clinton is not the first presidential candidate to expose a super power, her husband did it on The Arsenio Hall Show.

During the 1992 presidential campaign, then Gov. Bill Clinton revealed his super power during an appearance on The Arsenio Hall Show, wooing the young electorate with his saxophone siren call. Down in the polls before the show, Bill Clinton’s rendition of “Heartbreak Hotel” captured the imagination of America, enabling him to claim the presidency with 43% of the vote.

All super heroes make sacrifices. This time Arsenio took the heat for Bubba, as the Arsenio Hall Show was canceled shortly afterwards

Other 2008 presidential candidates have super-human powers as well.

Republican presidential hopeful former Gov. Mike Huckabee demonstrated his ability to shrink to an incredibly small size, losing 120 pounds in two seconds!

er…two years.

Republican frontrunner former Gov. Mitt Romney has demonstrated a super power of the natural world, shared by termites and rabbits, the ability disseminate their kind like a virus through superhuman procreation.

The Romney family doubles every 69 seconds

Democratic presidential hopeful Rep. Dennis Kucinich displayed his surprising ability to seduce young, idealistic women. Who’d a thunk it?

Uncanny powers of persuasion

Though falling in the polls, one time Republican frontrunner Sen. John McCain has demonstrated the remarkable super ability to, at his old age, stand on two feet without assistance: Truly super human stamina.

Sen. John McCain standing without assistance. Superhero aura not simulated.

Even with the ability to see the invisible, can Clinton’s newly revealed super power keep pace with the nefarious abilities of the other candidates and the kriptonite scrutiny of the electorate?

Unclear, but Sen. Clinton did receive a ‘SuperHero’ award last year.

In March of 2006, the “Distinguished Community Health Superhero” Award was bestowed to the Senator on behalf of the National Association of Community Health Centers.

NewsMax reported that in “a statement posted to her official Senate web site, Ms. Clinton gratefully acknowledged her new superhero status.”

“It was an honor to receive the Superhero Award from the representatives of New York’s community health centers and I was especially grateful for the opportunity to thank them personally for the work that they do every day,’ the former first lady said.”

But the question remains, will Clinton’s new super power be enough blast her back into the bat cave White House?

Stay tuned for the graphic novel.

Did you see that? Clinton saw it coming.

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• Categories: Hillary Clinton, 2008 Election

• Comedy on the Campaign Trail
• The Romney ‘Way’, Hillary Clinton & Web 2.0

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