Garling Gauge

Presidential Hopeful Declared Website Mascot

The new Garling Gauge mascot, John Bootie

08′ Presidential campaign contacts the Garling Gauge

Ensuing the post YouTube & Unknown Presidential Candidates, an email was received from Jason Bootie–the son and campaign manager for presidential aspirant John Bootie–thanking the Garling Gauge for the plug:

Hello I am Jason Bootie, both son and also campaign manager for John Bootie. As I was searching his name through yahoo search I came across a link to your post. I think what campaigner2008 is doing a great justice letting folks know that there are more candidates out there willing to make a run for it.

I get so sick and tired of seeing the top candidates only, yes I know that is how our society and media today is, but what is the real reason these folks have to make millions? I mean those that give so much get nothing back in return unless their candidate wins, and then even there is NO promise of getting anything for your buck, at least not with today’s politicians.

But I wanted to thank you for that story and plug for Mr. Bootie. I read some other posts and you do an outstanding job, keep up the great work. Thanks again and have a great day.

God Bless, Jason Bootie

Appreciation is extended to Jason Bootie for the fine comments.

Given that many posts on this blog are decidedly left-leaning, it is unexpected and satisfying to receive a hat tip from the presidential campaign manager of a self-described “Ultra-conservative”.

While the Garling Gauge supports the Democratic party and liberal independents, John and Jason Bootie should be commended for their courage to enter the political fray of a two-party system, even if Mr. Bootie’s platform is dangerously myopic at best.

A few highlights from the Bootie’s 08′ website:

• I WILL not end the War on Terror

• I will make our presence permanent in Iraq

• Close the border with Mexico until we can control when and if people come in to our country. NO legal or illegal entry until the day, WE control the rate and legality of the people coming in to the USA

• Get insurance companies to pay for every single person to go to a GYM as part of their health plan to fight sickness and obesity. A healthier person costs less to insure. NO National Health Care.

• I am dead set against Embryonic stem cell research

• I don’t believe in the concept of global warming

• War on Drugs: Wow, now that’s a hard question.

• NO I DON’T believe you can support the troops and not their mission.

• ABORTION is murder. I am pro-life.

• I won’t beat around the bush. I believe the Bible says “a man shall leave his mother and father and become one with his wife(female)”. I do not support gay marriage

• Require France, Germany and any other country that feels its ok to side with terrorists to re-pay any and all outstanding DEBTS and cut off all financial aide until such a time they promise to side with us and close their mouths.

• Stop appeasing the few at the expense of the many. Fix the IN GOD WE TRUST and UNDER GOD debate because this nation was founded on that premise, this nation is predominantly christian.
  

• I would go one step further I would ask for a law that anyone over 18 that wants to were a GUN openly can and will have a federal right to bear arms. I believe if everyone wore a gun there would be less crime not more. I believe if an armed criminal entered a store or bank to rob it and saw 4, 5, or 6 armed people in the store or bank they would think two or three times about the robbery.

• I pledge if the people feel I DID NOT TRY to do everything I promised then I would not run for a second term. Since I am single, NO revolving door of endless women.

• PhD in Commonsense from the School of Life, still attending.

(Note to Bootie webmaster: Use Spell Check)

By now it should be blindingly apparent that John Bootie is crazy.

Even so, the truck driver and presidential hopeful does have a couple ideas worth exploring:

Mexican trucks would not be allowed in to the USA past the buffer zone at the border unless 3 things are met. First: the trucks and drivers are certified to be legal and non-dangerous. Second: the companies pay their drivers a wage equal to the american drivers (not 1/3 of the pay we get). Third: there would need to be a proven and genuine need for the use of outside trucks and drivers. We still do not have a zero unemployment rating.


Trucking: Pass a law that we make truck parking more accessible. If we are going to require the drivers to pull over, then they need places to park safely and legally. First idea: for that is whenever a driver pulls over along any highway or road, that they keep their tractor and trailer body lights on if its dark out and park safely off the traveled surface of the road way. Second idea: is they can idle whenever the temps are below 32 degrees F, without the risk and threat of getting a ticket if they have No APU.

(As a truck driver, he should know)

and…

End Wasteful Spending: NO Inaugural parties, no renting out the white house bedrooms. No state parties just to play politics. No alcohol in the white house. No costly redecorating of The White House.

While a Bootie administration would certainly degenerate our society back to the stone age (trucks and decorating aside), there is something inexplicably cute about an ignorant, ultra-conservative truck driver running for president as “The Next Lincoln-Reagan” with typos all over his campaign website.

The tie-less photo scores points too.

With that in mind, the Garling Gauge announces the following:

Taking into consideration the politeness of Jason Bootie’s letter, the cuteness of the John Bootie campaign, the acknowledgment that outlandish political perspectives still thrive, the certain knowledge that John Bootie is crazy, the condemnation of the Bootie platform, the silliness of his last name, and the fact that the U.S. Navy already took a goat, the Garling Gauge officially declares John Bootie as its official mascot!

Dictionary.com describes a mascot as:

• an animal, person, or thing adopted by a group as its representative symbol and supposed to bring good luck: The U.S. Navy mascot is a goat.

Goats aside, the Garling Gauge hopes the new John Bootie mascot will bring everyone luck in the encroaching presidential election.

As a final thanks to John Bootie for all the entertainment and the belief that all points of views should be heard no matter how ridiculous, below is a subsequent (and expected last) letter sent from the Bootie campaign:

Hey maybe you could do something with this press release? If not no biggy.?

From:Jason Bootie (bootiecampaign@yahoo.com)

LANCASTER COUNTY, Penn., - John Bootie is running for the 2008 Presidency as an independent. He believes in the strong and honorable tradition of our military, and he believes that we can settle for no less than victory against the ruthless enemy we now face. He agrees that Iraq is becoming another Vietnam, but only because the anti-war protestors desire it to be. As with the Vietnam Conflict, the media is using anti-American tactics, many of the politicians in office are attempting to lose the war on terror, and the military is not being allowed to fight to win!

Rush Limbaugh sounds like a liberal when compared to Presidential Candidate John Bootie. The next “Lincoln-Reagan,” John Bootie believes that government does not know what is best for you. You know what’s best for you. And it is high-time a presidential candidate stands up for what’s right.

John Bootie is a conservative political candidate running for the 2008 Presidency. The popularity of this grass-roots candidate is growing because he is the candidate that the common American can relate to, because he is one of you!

Unaffected by lobby groups and special interests, John Bootie is a true American who drives an eighteen-wheeler for a living. He has traveled the highways and bi-ways of this great nation, and recognizes that the United States is a great nation, united under God, and worth defending. While the other candidates are worried about agendas, failed programs, and granting amnesty to criminals, John Bootie is guided by moral values, integrity, character, and compassion of his fellow man. He recognizes that the American Dream is alive and well for those that work hard and make responsible decisions. And while all of those candidates of the two major parties lose touch with the everyday American, John Bootie lives, works, and worships God among the populace.

John Bootie does not hide behind “political correctness.” He is brutally honest, straight to the point, and is willing to debate over what he believes. Now, as his campaign grows, John Bootie’s 2008 Presidential campaign is breaking into the mainstream, because the people are tired of “politics as usual.” The Democrats believe that you are not intelligent enough, or capable of, being self-reliant, and the Republicans have left the true conservatives out in the cold. As an independent candidate, John Bootie will remain free from agendas, and will be free to cling to his values.

You can learn more about John Bootie for President and his internet-driven campaign at www.johnbootie08.com

Jason Bootie
Campaign Manager

• Presidential Matchup: Bootie vs Krueger
• Still can’t get enough Bootie? Listen here.
• Response from the Bootie Campaign is here.

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